think~!

3.44a.m

dear blog,

hm.. target nk tdo awl, cz nk bgn awal..

tp waktu skg, mata belom menunjukkan tanda2 untuk pejam..

hm.. yie call just now..

he said that he missed me so much..

hm.. i dont know the best way to explain him our situation right now..

he thinks im unfaithful.. yup.. he's right..

but i know.. i, myself the only one know what actually i feel..

he said too easy i can forget him, our love and our time together..

no.. he's wrong..

you know, i try soo hard to fight my feeling..

i read more motivation and the other ilmiah books..

i pray, and pray.. ask for ketenangan..

and now.. i feel free..

but, i really hope yie find ketenangan too..

he call just now, and said 

'sgt sedih hidup xde org syg.. xde guna hidup..

abg nk mati..'

hm. i just silent!

buntu..

but i try to say something

'abg ada fmly lg.. kakak2, adik2, ma, abh, ina pon ada lg tuk abg share anythings..'

he said..

'abg nk bermanja pon ngan family ke? mmg ina ada, tp ssh sgt ke ina nk syg abg lg..?'

hm.. we already discuss it for many many times.. but he still dont get it..

what can i do? go back to his side, and face his busy body sisters? and ofcourse his sisters hate me so much.. how can i face it.. 

yie ckp..

'lau ina betol2 syg abg knpa ina xleh berkorban sikit?

knp perlu pk diorg? kita kawen, xduduk ngan diorg, xguna duit diorg..'

hm~

yie still dont want to understand,, how can i treat his sisters like enemy, when i said i want be with him, i mean i want be with his fmily too..

hm.. and the true is, my love for yie just zero!

that feel hilang bersama kata2 kakak dia yg aku da buang dalam hidupku..

hm..~ aku xblh pksa tuk syg yie lg mcm dlu..

yie skg da jd kenangan aku.. 

but, aku xkan tolak, klau yie ditakdirkan jodohku nnti..

itu sume hanya Dia yg tahu..

aku hnya mmpu berdoa..

'semoga aku diberikan jodoh yang beriman, baik, dan boleh membawa aku ke jalan Allah serta ikhlas menyayangi aku... amiin..'

dan semoga yie diberi petunjuk..

moga dia tabah hadapi dugaan dariNya.. dan andai dia bukan jodohku, moga dia mendapat puteri yg lebih baik dariku, dan menyayangi dia.. 

i'm soo sorry, yie..